whedonist

Fandom: Nikki & Nora
Pairing: Nikki/Nora
Rating: PG-13 to R (depends on the chapter)
Title: A Thousand Oceans – Ch.6 – I’m Breathin’ In

Disclaimer: These characters well, Nikki, Nora, Dan, Darius, Georgia, Charlie, Arthur, Bobby and Mrs. Delaney are so not mine (damnit!), but Ann and Jill and other characters not mentioned in the pilot are (Ha!). The ones in the “damnit!” category belong to Nancylee Myatt and other’s I don’t know. I’m here for a bit of fun, and for this story, angst. No profit is being made here, and if it is, I’m not seeing a dime.

A/N: There’s usually moments in every relationship, real and fictional alike, that you either (forgive me for lack of options here, but…) man up and do or say what needs to be said and hope that when the dust settles the other person loves you enough to do their part. Hopefully this works…

Enjoy!

Carry me down,
Rollin' in your arms,
'Cause I can't remember ever falling this hard

Heel, toe, heel, toe, heel, toe, heel…brick wall. Spin. Gnaw on my thumb nail which is a nasty habit. Glance up at the apartment door. And back to Heel, toe, heel, toe, heel.

“Nicolette Joyelle, I swear on Erica’s grave if you don’t quit the pacing shit and man up, I’m gonna pop you.” Darius barks. He’s leaning against his car, outside Nora’s apartment with me.

We’ve been here for a little while and I can’t muster up the courage to go and knock on her door. He’s parked behind June Lee and has been patient with me for the better part of an hour. I walk over to him and slump against the Cadillac, resting my head on his shoulder.

I called him three hours ago, about a half hour after I ran away from Nora.

Idiot.

I am an idiot.

That’s been the mantra of the evening and I don’t think it’s gonna change anytime soon. Sighing, Darius wraps an arm around my shoulders and lets me snuggle in. “I ain’t gonna wait out here with you forever, kouz’. You either gonna hafta go on up there and pour your heart out or I’m gonna leave you here to sleep in the bed of Nora’s car.”

I grunt at him and burrow deeper, his lanky form providing minimal comfort. He kisses the top of my head a few minutes later, shoves me away and says, “you needta go make this right, kouz’.”

I nod and say, “I’ll, uh, give me a few and I’ll let you know how it goes.”

He waves me off, “I brought a book. Take your time, but if you plan on spendin’ the night, let me know. I don’t need to sleep in my ride.” He winks at me then, his teeth white against the darkness outside and the brown of his skin and lips. My heart swells just a little thinking of him and the things we’ve been through together.

I swallow the knot of emotion and smile instead, offering a wink of my own. I spin around and find courage that was hidden somewhere underneath my shame and pig-headishness. As I climb the steps to the second story apartment, I put together my apology. Do I lead in with bravado and false confidence, accepting Nora’s invitation to dinner or do I drop to my knees and ask forgiveness.

I run a hand through my hair, cursing Nora for my insecurity. She is the only one that’s ever made me this unsure of myself. Sometimes it’s been enough to save my life and others…

I think it makes me a bit sick ‘cause she turns me about so much I can’t tell whether I’m comin’ or goin’ or if I should just hang on to her coat--tails and let her carry us through.

Her door materializes in front of me. My knuckles hover before it. My father’s words whisper in my ear as my hand drops to knock on her door, “Tell her you love her and let the rest sort itself out.”

How he still believes that love will be able to solve all is beyond me. He certainly didn’t get his happily ever after and mine…who I thought it was – I swallow, Erica can’t have a place in this relationship.

I shake it off as the door swings open and Nora looks at me, her face not giving anything away. She motions me inside and I slip past her as she shuts the door. Music plays in the living room. I can’t help the smile as I recognize the harmonies drifting softly from the speakers. My girl has the softest spot for The Temptations. Tonight, they sing “I Could Never Love Another”.

Affectionately, I smile at her. She blushes slightly as I watch her take a seat on the couch, motioning for me to sit next to her. I look between the couch and recliner and her. I have a small internal debate and shake my head. “I need to talk and sitting next to you won’t help.”

“Okay,” she says expectantly.

Drawing in a breath, I stick to the plan of attack that I’ve concocted on the way up the steps, “Yes, I’ll go to dinner with you to your mama’s.” I run a hand through my hair and stop my pacing, resting my hands on my hips to look down at her. “I was pissed at you. For a lot of reasons Nora Marie.”

“Nikki, I…” she tries to interrupt but I talk over her.

“No, lemme talk,” I say holding a hand up. “There’s a lot that I don’t get. Maybe a part of me never will and we have issues. Ones that need to be worked out and gone over. I have issues that I need to deal with, but my being upset about the bomb and the airport…” I trail off and drop my hands from my hips. I move to stand in front of her and drop to my knees. “I’m so scared of losing you. After everything, I overreacted,” gathering her hands in mine, bringing them tight against my chest. I kiss her knuckles and just let it all out. “I’ve let Erica in between us. My grief of losing her snuck in and took over while we weren’t working together. Then with Jill and Ann here and my jealously, however unfounded, of your relationship with them is, I lost it. I ran and I’m sorry for that.”

I look at her, fighting to keep my tears at bay. She looks down at me, her eyes and face still not giving her away. Her mouth opens for a second and then snaps shut. “Okay,” she finally says.

I raise my eyebrow at her and she gives me the smallest upward turn of her lips.

I blink. “That’s it?”

A wry smile blooms on her gorgeous lips and she shrugs. “I’ve been…Nikki these past few weeks without you have been hell,” she confesses. “But, I…you were or are right in a way. I’ve been putting things…people in front of you and it’s not acceptable. I can’t tell my mom about us, but she should at least get to know you. Get to see that you are important to me and then we can go from there. My decisions up until the past few weeks have been on occasion unacceptable and I’m sorry I’ve made you feel like you were second to all in my life.”

She untangles her left hand from my grip and cups my cheek, running the pad of her thumb over the tear that starts to sneak down my cheek. “You’re first. I can choose that. I do choose you. I may not have shown it, but since the moment I saw you…well, I couldn’t have chose different if I had wanted and I never ever wanted anything – anyone else.” She swallows and smiles again. “So let’s do this. I’m an ass, you’re an ass. We’ve both acted in ways that have been embarrassing and hurtful. I’m so tired of not having you by me. Three weeks is too long.”

I nod under her touch and can’t help the grin. The tightening in my chest increases as she pulls me up and sits me in her lap. I look down at her and amend her confession, “We still need to figure out how we’re going to work some of this out.”

She nods against my forehead. “Nikki, shut up.” Her right hand wraps around the base of my neck tangling in my hair. She draws me to her lips and I accept the invitation, greedy and needful.

Lips meet and I can’t remember how to breathe let alone my own name, but I swear there was something I needed to do as Nora shifts and I straddle her waist. Her tongue slides past my gasping lips as her hips buck against me.

Pulling back for breath, my head clears briefly and I remember. Smiling I reach past her and grab the cordless phone sitting on the end table. I quickly punch in Darius’ number as Nora slips her shirt off. My mouth goes dry looking down at perfection as Darius picks up, “Yo.”

“Go home,” I mumble and drop the phone into the cushions.

And all at once I am whole again,
We fall into each other,
Your Atmosphere is all I'm breathin' in